Wait? What did you say?

So lately I have not had so many good days. Things in my brain have fallen apart a little bit. Found out about something that I had suspected all along, but without proof, you can convince yourself that the ugly truth isn’t the reality.

Well, I feel like I walked in front of a bus I knew was coming. Now I just feel insanely more broken than I was before.

So cheers to better days and better friends.

Que cera cera (whatever will be, will be)

Has it already been a year since my world finally caved in on itself?

Sometimes I still want to scream and shout and throw everything from the shelves and just fucking lose it. But it’s not about him anymore.
The question I keep asking myself is - Are you only given one great love?

A wonderful friend of mine recently said to me that you will always have that great love and it will hurt and it will linger, and then you will meet someone new who will ignite that passion and piece together your heart again - that hurt will never leave you, but someone out there will give you a love so great that it will overcome whatever the past has dealt you.

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Jul. 7, 2009

Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her, and to wonder what was going to happen next.

— Alice’s Adventure In Wonderland, 1866

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Jul. 7, 2009

With burnt sage and a forest of bygones,
I click my heels,
Get the devils in line,
A list of things I could lay the blame on,
Might give me a way out,

But with each turn,
It stays front and center,
Like a dart stuck square in your eye,
Every post you can hitch your faith on,
Is a pie in the sky,
Chock full of lies,
A tool we devise,
To make sinking stones fly,

And still to come,
The worst part and you know it,
There is a numbness,
In your heart and it’s growing.

— The Shins- A Comet Appears

conversation

Jul. 7, 2009

Work is slow and boring today

Co-Worker [352 PM]::	ughhhhhhhhhhhh
Co-Worker [352 PM]::	just awful
Courtney Reisman [353 PM]::	what's awful?
Co-Worker [353 PM]::	this day
Courtney Reisman [407 PM]::	yes this day is no good and i'm ready to go home
Co-Worker [407 PM]::	omg.. just fell asleep
Courtney Reisman [407 PM]::	ahaha
Courtney Reisman [407 PM]::	ahahhahahahahahahahahaha
Courtney Reisman [408 PM]::	seriously?
Co-Worker [408 PM]::	someone walked by and it woke me up
Co-Worker [408 PM]::	seriously
Courtney Reisman [408 PM]::	yikes

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Jul. 7, 2009

Hold your glass up, hold it in
Never betray the way you’ve always known it is.
One day I’ll be wondering how
I got so old just wondering how
I never got cold wearing nothing in the snow.

— The Shins - Caring Is Creepy

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Jul. 7, 2009

I see myself change as the days change over
I hear the songs and the words don’t change
I write them out of the book right there

— The Walkmen - We’ve Been Had

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Jul. 7, 2009